so my roommate wasn’t home tonight so I kinda took both our beds and
this is best
I hope your roommate finds these pictures.
someone is jealous they dont have a super mega ultra king size double bed in their room
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
or, you know, teach people not to rape other people…
Sadly, even if you teach people not to rape, they’ll do it anyway if they really want to, so these are still helpful in the event of rape, OR assault.
These self defense tips are not here to tell a person not to get raped, they are here to tell a person what to do in the event where someone is attempting to rape or assault them.
We do need to teach people not to rape, but we do not yet live in a world where rape and assault does not happen, and until we do, it’s important that we know how to protect ourselves in the event that it does happen.
Someone get tumblr user shinjaninja a medal.
This is something that some Navy SEALs taught girls in my gym class in high school. But there’s another rather effective (and kinda cool) tactic to use.
They used myself (A tall kid at the time, not very big but rather tall) and a rather skinny, tiny short girl for a demonstration. They had me grab the girl’s neck from behind—as pictured in the bottom left—and keep her in a tight headlock. Then the SEALs instructed the girl to drop to one knee and allow gravity to flip me over her shoulder onto my fucking head.
That’s right. No matter how small you might be, or how big and strong your attacker is, you can shift their center of gravity against them and flip them over shoulder with little to no effort on your part, allowing you time to land a blow and get the fuck out of there. And ever since then, I’ve taught my female friends that trick if time and circumstance ever allowed.
Stay safe, ladies.
Imma add another tip:
Pointer and middle finger right under the jaw and push up. Try it, it hurts like hell, and it will get them to lift their head up at which point you can kick or elbow loose.
That one, and under the nose, too. Place your thumb under it, and shove upward. They’ll either back off out of reflex, or you’ll break their nose. Plus, it will shatter their concentration, and they won’t be able to keep a grip on you, which will let you get loose, and give you an opportunity to either escape, or employ another tactic.
Everyone needs to see this. Spread it
yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me
I read an article the other day that said, “if you drink every day you are an alcoholic.” Thank god I only drink every night
why do text posts these days sound like they are quotes from a 40 year old mother’s facebook
I AM ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN
I AM ALLOWED TO CRY OVER SIMPLE THINGS
I AM FULLY AWARE THAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE PROBLEMS TOO AND THEY ARE PROBABLY WORSE OFF THAN I AM
DO NOT REMIND ME OF THAT WHEN I AM UPSET
MY FEELINGS ARE VALID
I AM ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN
WHAT IS SIMPLE TO YOU COULD BE STRESSFUL TO ME
STOP TELLING ME TO THINK ABOUT PEOPLE THAT HAVE IT WORSE
STOP STOP STOP